Young Aholtobe Earthtrodder looked up at Brownoohs Ace Qimnot Jinx and Qimnot’s probationer Oohbiwon Bendovary. “Am I doing this right?” Aholtobe asked.
“You’re doing just fine” Qimnot replied. He looked at his probationer. “I told you the Power is strong within this one!”
“I should never have doubted your judgment my Ace” Oohbiwon answered. “Aholtobe will make a fine Brownoohs Chevalier.”
Qimnot looked down at Aholtobe uttering “That enough for now. You’re already a fine addition to the kitchen. You do a wonderful job tossing salad.” He smiled leaning over to rub his hand through Aholtobe’s hair. “Very soon we will teach you the art of spooning.”
“Spooning?” Aholtobe asked. “What’s that, Ace Qimnot?”
Qimnot slowly stood up. He continued smiling down at Aholtobe. He continued rubbing his hand through Aholtobe’s hair “You are such an eager learner, aren’t you?” Qimnot momentarily paused feeling satisfaction knowing how gratifying training Aholtobe was going to be. “Spooning is an essential part of the Brownoohs training. It is an advanced technique which requires you to be flexible in your mind and body. Soon you will learn. But first let us go to the garage area. I have something to show you there.”
Oohbiwon and Aholtobe followed behind Qimnot to the spacious garage area. “Hey!” Aholtobe excitedly exclaimed upon entering the room. “That’s my rodracer!” He ran to the machine he had custom built running around the hovering transport device inspecting the condition of the vehicle.
“Yes it is” Qimnot informed him. “I got it back for you.”
“Golly, Ace Qimnot!” Aholtobe stated with astonishment as he looked over the outside of the vehicle. “How did you do that?”
“Oh” Qimnot mused “I used a simple Brownoohs mental ruse to convince the owner to let me have it. I convinced Batso that The Phantom was all around him and then I simply claimed title to the rodracer for he had no more need of it since his days would now be days of hiding in his residence in fear of the Menace of The Phantom.” Qimnot paused momentarily while thinking wonderful thoughts before continuing speaking again. “Oh, and there is even a new floor mat inside.”
Aholtobe launched his young body over the side of the rodracer. His head bent downward looking at the new accessory while his body lay over the side of the vehicle. Both Qimnot and Oohbiwon felt their pride swell with excitement watching their prize pupil squirm with joy. They spirits soared as they imagined filling young Aholtobe with the Power of the Brownoohs way.
The eyes of Ahlotobe looked down at the floor mat. The smiling face of Captain Overture stared back at him. From The Captain’s mouth a blank word balloon expanded out. Aholtobe’s eyes noticed an activation button in the corner of the mat. He reached and reached and reached until his finger finally could touch the button depressing it to see what happened. The word balloon filled with words supplemented by a corresponding grave voice saying “Aholtobe…have you ever been to Lyre Island?”
The lad slid his body back out of the vehicle. “Whoa!” he uttered in amazement. “That floor mat is cool!” His young brain thought a little more causing him to ask “What’s Lyre Island?”
Qimnot and Oohbiwon smiled knowingly at each other before turning their heads to look at Aholtobe. Oohbiwon explained “Lyre Island is a magical place on the Brownoohs home planet of Ach-Choo. It is filled with all sorts of rides and tasty delights to eat and exciting shows to watch. When your training is complete we will take you there to celebrate your graduation. It is the least we can do for the Selected Singular! All you need to do is to keep training in the Brownoohs way and the universe can be yours.”
Aholtobe couldn’t believe his ears. I am the Selected Singular he thought. It’s so wonderful to be me! His young brain thought a little more causing him to ask “Are all kids Selected Singulars?”
Qimnot slowly shook his head. “Oh, no!” he slowly spoke. He bent down to Aholtobe to look him in the face. “Only those who are both imbued with fespocalor in the body AND who pass the Brownoohs tests are Selected Singulars.” He tapped a finger on Aholtobe’s nose speaking “Now…This nose of yours is full of fespocalor. And you have spectacularly passed every Brownoohs test so far. All you have to do is to keep on learning your teachings and passing your tests and you will outperform all the other kids. And when the time comes…” he smiled “when the times comes you will become the greatest Ace of them all. I know this because I have seen that you are so full of fespocalor that you will be the greatest Selected Singular ever! It is your Destiny.”
The brain of Aholtobe tried to process what he was being told. He did understand the gist that he was magical and that since he was magical everyone would bow before him. He was more special than all other humans.
A golden glint showered in his eyes. He saw his robot sitting against the wall. “Simipho!” Aholtobe cried running over to the unit. The unit did not reply. “Hey!” Aholtobe disdainfully stated while moving the robot arms while inspecting the wiring “He’s broken.”
Oohbiwon walked over to Aholtobe. He bent down putting an arm around the lad pointing a finger up at Simipho’s glowing eyes. “He’s not broken” Oohbiwon informed Aholtobe. “We are running an upgrade to his system software. We are upgrading him to the TelefunkenPU operating system to improve his capabilities.”
Aholtobe’s mind tried to process the big words. Tell eh Fun Ken is what he slowly worked through in his head. “This will make him better?” he asked Oohbiwon.
“Yes” Oohbiwon replied. “He’ll be able to speak German after the upgrade.”
Qimnot leaned his arm on the rodracer looking at his probationer interact with Aholtobe. He momentarily imagined the fun they would have after the upgrade completed. Eventually he said “Now, our young Selected Singular, how would you like to race in the rodracer contest this weekend?”
Aholtobe’s ears heard the words causing Christmas Holiday present thinking to appear in his brain. The day of getting presents kept getting better and better. He ran over to Qimnot yelling “Race in the rodracer race? Oh boy would I ever!” He hugged Qimnot and then ran his fingers over the edge of the rodracer. “I’ve got some ideas to really power the rodracer. We can get more thrust out of this is if we…”
Qimnot cut off Aholtobe’s excitable blurting putting his arms on the lads shoulders cautioning him “Now…now…slow down your roll there young man.” Aholtobe looked up at him with curiosity. Qimnot continued. “I asked if you would like to race in the rodracer race this weekend. I didn’t say you would be racing in the rodracer. That’s much too dangerous and completely unnecessary.”
Confusion filled Aholtobe. His elation nose-dived. “But, how can I race in the rodracer race if I don’t race in a rodracer?”
Qimnot gave Aholtobe a smile. “You needn’t worry about that. Since you are the Selected Singular you have already won the race.”
This confused Aholtobe even further. “How can I win a race that hasn’t been run?” he asked.
“Let us show you how” Oohbiwon said while walking across the garage to large rectangular box. He removed the box top setting it aside. Oohbiwon reached his arms inside the container playfully saying “Who’s ready for safe fun?” while lifting out a bicycle-like device and setting it on the ground.
Aholtobe slowly walked over to what he saw. The body of the contraption looked like a yellow banana. Tricycle wheels extended down to the ground from the body. Green pedals for pedaling the gizmo to power locomotion extended out from the thingamajig. A plastic red molding formed the seat. A blue plastic handlebar ran across the top of the banana. Plastic red hand grip moldings adorned the handlebar. Blue tassels came out of the end of the handlebar. On top of the doohickey crowning the handlebar end of the apparatus sat a plastic bubble containing a variety of plastic balls. A plastic turnkey protruded from the rear machine.
Looking over the frame further the eyes of the Solitary Singular spotted a decal of a pelican wearing a beret saying Who’s ready for Safe Fun? The label provided him the name of the machine: Scooty Puff, Jr.
“Can you believe your eyes?” Qimnot asked as he walked over placing his hands on the lads shoulders and rubbing them. “You’ll be the envy of every person on the planet. In fact, you’ll be the envy of every person in this quadrant of the galaxy!”
Aholtobe’s head hurt. He could not understand. He wanted to race his rodracer. He didn’t want to peddle the thing in front of him. He could not understand “How can I beat all the other rodracer’s in the race riding this bike?”
“It’s easy” Oohbiwon told him. “You are the only person who will actually be in the race. That’s how you will beat all the other rodracer’s!”
“But it’s not a rodracer!” Aholtobe said. “It won’t be a rodracer race without my racing a rodracer.”
“This is much safer” Qimnot informed Aholtobe. “And as far anyone will know you will be racing a rodracer.” Aholtobe quizzically looked at him. Qimnot bent down to look into his eyes. “You see, Aholtobe, what we will do is to digitally enhance the bike making it look and speed around like you are driving a rodracer. It’s a trick we learned from a show called The Running Man. We manipulate the images and give the audience what we tell them they want to see. And, since there are no other people racing then no one will know what actually happened.”
“But what about the people in the crowd?” Aholtobe asked. “They’ll see what happened.”
Qimnot and Oohbiwon laughed. “There won’t be any people in the crowd!” Oohbiwon informed him. “There will only be virtual people in the stands. We have used the same Brownoohs mental ruse Ace Qimnot used on Batso to convince everyone that there is a great Menace in the air and that they should all stay in their hovels. They will never know that the Meance is Phantom as they watch the race in their homes. Meanwhile the stands filled with will be virtual people and they will roar and cheer you along! And the whole race will be broadcast throughout this quadrant of the galaxy and you will be hailed as a hero!”
“Really?” Aholtobe asked.
“Really!” Qimnot replied. “This is the Brownoohs way. We use the Power that flows between us and binds us together to make all this happen. You keep following our teachings and tossing salad like you do and you have the chance to be the greatest Brownoohser to ever live!”
Aholtobe liked the deal. He felt wonderful knowing that he and no other kids were Selected Singular’s. He suddenly stood erect as The Power flowed from within. He smilingly looked at Qimnot and Ohbiwon. “Can I toss some more salad?” he asked.