Painless

The man with the hurricane full of trouble is Augustus Valentine. Aug runs an import/export company outside Port Everglades started with illegal money…so were the real estate developments in San Destin.

Goods are smuggled in and out of the country…In come rubies, sapphires and diamonds…they are promptly stolen from Mr. Aug…who did what and why?

Painless features Jocelyn…Aug’s crazy girlfriend. Jocelyn sells Jaguars in Merritt Island…there’s a weekend getaway in Ponte Vedra.
There’s a big hurricane finish on the beach in San Destin with gold, platinum, gambling, in the mix.

Click on the links below to read Chapters from the book.

Chapter 1 – Augustus Valentine
Meet John Doe
Golf
Snake Eyes
Tee Box
Terminus
Upper Terra

Painless Reviews

I’m not familiar with the modern noir genre of fiction but if it means a fun book full of action and quirky humor, then Painless is definitely modern noir.

I’m not familiar with the modern noir genre of fiction but if it means a fun book full of action and quirky humor, then Painless is definitely modern noir. In fact, the author’s opening line is quirky and intriguing: “Icky Vicky was not icky.” Looking for a light, fun read for a day at the beach? Then Painless is for you.

Our protagonist is a silver-tongued, smuggling dude, full of spunk and resiliency; a bonified chick-magnet of a guy who is appropriately named Augustus Valentine. Okay, now picture—if you will—a stuffed pink flamingo and a plush giant panda filled with diamonds, rubies and sapphires and riding shotgun in a Cadillac DeVille. The deal is: Aug runs an import-export company, but when his own smuggled loot gets purloined, his employers look to rub him out. In page-turning action, we follow Aug to Detroit, Philly and all across Florida as he chases his attackers, including a pair of goons called “The Mountain” and “The Nose”. Believe me, there’s plenty of violence, Bat Man style: BLAM! POW! Not only that, but there’s oodles of titillating sex scenes and innuendos. Consider Jocelyn, a sexy bombshell whose “every word seemed to convey not just a sense of sex, but a sense of hours of sex”. And, naturally, the Stroh’s beer is always flowing. Are you getting the jist? Well, the author provides all that, plus an intricately woven plot including a collapsing stock market, embezzlements of hundreds of millions, money laundering, and high-stakes gambling at grand casino appropriately called the Poseidon. It all culminates with a catastrophic hurricane named Bill. I wonder: Bill the Hurricane and Bill the author . . . any connection?

The book jacket tells us the author recently resided and commuted between Grand Cayman and the Bahamas but now lives in Jacksonville. He claims to be a “hurricane magnet”, having endured or evacuated from nine hurricanes. Well, then, no small wonder Painless climaxes with a hurricane and who better to describe it? In the end, I found the author has a special talent for weaving a complicated and intriguing plot, peppered with plenty of humor, delivered in his unique, quirky style and accompanied by colorful characters that leap off the page.

A Good Read, reviewed by Jan Evan Whitford, Allbooks Reviews

Painless is a super-charged crime novel that action addicts will love.

When Augustus Valentine, president of Trove Import-Export in South Florida, is attacked and robbed, he thinks the only booty the thieves made off with was a stash of precious jewels he has smuggled into the United States with a legitimate shipment. This is the jump start of Augustus’ entry deep into the world of organized crime in which his uncle, Mark Kledas, is a significant player.

As Augustus learns about all of the items stolen in the heist, he embarks on a search of the goods, discovers who the thieves are, and works towards getting himself a bigger piece of the deal.

Painless is rife with violence and back story. Initially, the author’s approach to presenting the history of his characters is confusing. Poje drops the reader in the middle of a past event that is already in progress. This technique demands that the reader quickly catchup. Fortunately, the author is able to tie the history and current events together, all while moving the action along at a 100 mph.

Augustus is driven by the tragic deaths of his parents and his adored wife. As he chases after the bad guys, old scars are peeled away and he is enlightened about parts of his past that he never knew existed.

Painless is a super-charged crime novel that action addicts will love.

Melissa Levine for  Independent Professional Book Reviewers

This book is recommended for fans of furious action and a look at crime and criminals from the inside.

Augustus Valentine has a huge problem. Involved in a smuggling ring through his import-export business, he has agreed to smuggle in jewels and precious metals. But before they can be delivered to his client, Augustus is attacked at the business and all the smuggled merchandise is stolen. That’s bad for Augustus, and or with the insurance company or even the police. No, Aug’s problem is with the Mob and the various men he has dealt with for years and that he believed were his partners. Now everyone is after Aug and expects him to deliver the goods. If he can’t, death is a real possibility.

Fast-paced, Bill Poje’s Painless follows Aug in the days after the robbery as he delves into the intricate relationships between the various partners. Everyone is out for themselves, and betrayal and double-crossing is the name of the game. As Valentine moves from gangster to gangster, uses of flashbacks reveal that this crime has its genesis in events that happened decades ago. Valentine must figure out the past and the way it affects the present before he can hope to work his way out of the problems he faces. He learns that he can’t trust anyone, even those he considered his closest friends.

This book is recommended for fans of furious action and a look at crime and criminals from the inside. The reader is swept along on waves of action and violence. As one might expect in this setting, there is a lot of sex, violence and adult language. The plot twists like a sidewinder and the flashbacks help the reader piece together the puzzle of the various relationships. Bill Poje has created a realistic view of a world most readers will never experience.

Rebecca’s Reads

Bill Poje is a master at multitasking. He successfully brings the plots and characters together to create a mystery that will keep readers on the edge of their seat.

An exciting entertaining read.

Our story begins with Augustus “Aug” Valentine, the President of Trove Import-Export. Aug is mugged. The culprits make off with the precious jewels he smuggled into the country. The event draws Aug deep into organized crime. Basically they want to do him in.

Painless is not a quick read. The plot is complex. There are many subplots and characters all taking place at once. Bill Poje is a master at multitasking. He successfully brings the plots and characters together to create a mystery that will keep readers on the edge of their seat. Poje refers to his book as modern noir genre. This is the perfect description Painless for Aug finds himself embroiled in what seems to be a hopeless situation. He has to overcome the force threatening to take him down. I know a good book when I read one and this book is not good it is great. Aug is an exquisite character. He is handsome, a slick ladies man. He thinks fast on his feet.

Poje has included a sexy bombshell named Jocelyn. The intimate scenes are steamy. Ah, but he doesn’t stop there, Poje includes a hurricane. This book is fast paced and will keep readers eagerly turning the pages. This book contains a lot of sex, violence and adult language.

Readers Favorite

A crooked businessman’s tragic past comes back to haunt him, resulting in lost—and found—love and a multimillion-dollar jewel heist.

Augustus “Aug” Valentine thought he had escaped his past. With the help of his friends and extended family, he survived the cold blooded murder of his parents as well as the death of his wife, and has gone on to start successful import-export and real estate businesses in South Florida. However, the underworld connections that led to his parents’ death have kept a hold on him. In return for seed money for his Trove import company, he’s been helping to smuggle a variety of items in and out of the country. But Aug has little reason to complain. He’s even started a new romance with the seductive Jocelyn, a car dealer who is even sleeker than the Jaguars she moves. However, when $40 million dollars in jewels is stolen before he can deliver them, his life, Jocelyn’s and those of all his friends and associates are put at risk. Unable to go to the law, he must unravel the complicated web of underworld family and friends as a giant storm bears down on what should have been a tropical paradise. Poje has packed this adventure-thriller full. The intricate plot, which jumps back and forth in time to explore both the roots of the heist and the convoluted family relationships that have made it inevitable, is further complicated by Poje’s wordplay. The author is fond of puns and cultural references, jumping back and forth from song lyrics to internal monologue as the sexy characters drive and listen to music. But this wordplay works against him. Not only does it occasionally obscure the plot—which is further convoluted by multiple viewpoints—it draws the reader out of the story by calling too much attention to itself.

An action packed heist frequently bogged down by excess verbiage.

Kirkus Discoveries

If crime and “bad guys”—especially ones with a flair for snappy repartee –are your thing, “Painless” may be just the book for your reading pleasure.

Wham! Bam! Crime novel entertains

If crime and “bad guys”—especially ones with a flair for snappy repartee –are your thing, “Painless” may be just the book for your reading pleasure. Bill Poje has packed more than 360 pages with colorful characters, action, violence, romance, sex, comedy, tragedy and the inevitable hand of fate.

Not enough to grab fans of the genre? Stay tuned. Poje’s story climaxes with a sprawling hurricane sweeping relentlessly toward the Florida Panhandle and his assorted mischief makers – including the book’s hero and chief smuggler, “Aug” (Augustus Valentine).

Poje has generously sprinkled his novel with “WHAM!” “BAM!” “POW!” “CRASH!” “BANG!” “BOOM!” and other helpful onomatopoeia, in case we don’t get the idea from the text. The novel is dark and light –and always fun. Take, for instance, the first sentence “Icky Vicky was not icky.” Turns out she’s really a sexy babe. And so it goes.

Scripps Treasure Coast News

Sometimes the rich don’t get rich by following the law to the letter.

Sometimes the rich don’t get rich by following the law to the letter. “Painless” follows tycoon Augustus Valentine as his latest shady venture goes sour. The smuggling operation goes wrong as his cargo is heisted, and very powerful people are displeased with him. Specifically, they are “take his life” displeased with him. “Painless” is a fun adventure of the underworld written in a noir style, recommended.

Midwest Book Review

Painless is a novel about the inner workings of several interconnected groups of criminals.

Augustus Valentine is no stranger to tragedy. As a teenager, at a time when he should have been dreaming about his future, Aug was told by his mother that she was pregnant, his father wasn’t the baby’s father, and they were leaving town immediately to live with Aug’s uncle Mark. Aug moved in with his uncle but his parents were murdered before the rest of the plan could be put into action.

Uncle Mark was good to Aug. He gave him an education and took him under his wing. He even brought him in on some of his most important business projects.

Unfortunately, things aren’t always as they seem. A suicide that wasn’t really a suicide. A robbery where the criminals knew too much. Friends who turn out to be enemies. Under such circumstances, figuring out who is trustworthy is the real mystery.

Painless is a novel about the inner workings of several interconnected groups of criminals. Aug isn’t an angel himself. In fact, he’s right in the thick of things and has no problem dishing out a little retribution. Still, there’s a slightly softer hidden side of him too. Action, mystery, and a little romance, nicely combined.

TCM reviews – (Tami Brady)

This novel was a great surprise; I had no idea that I would like it this much.

Painless by Bill Poje is the story of a man who was never handed the best cards in life, but when push came to shove, he made it all work in his favor. Aug has never been lucky. He lost his parents when he was just a child, had to live with his uncle, had a beautiful wife who died and now he is trying to make do with what he has. He is not the morally best person you will find, but he is trying to survive. He started his own import/export business, learned to make do with the opportunities provided and make the best for himself. He smuggles plenty of things for the underworld and he gets what he can out of that deal as well. But when jewels worth $40 million are stolen from him before he could smuggle them, Aug knew that he was in big trouble. He cannot get help from the authorities so he has to find out who stole the jewels, where they are and how he is going to get them back.

This novel was a great surprise; I had no idea that I would like it this much. Action, drama, mystery and a little bit of romance had me hooked from the very beginning. The author has a unique writing style that makes the story very appealing. Aug is definitely an intriguing character, one that I just loved to hate. He is the perfect anti-hero of this modern story where nothing is as perfect as the world would like to believe, yet it is perfect in its own imperfect way. Aug’s background added depth to the plot, made it more interesting and paved the way for future development. I can definitely see this becoming a movie or even a TV series because it has the originality that guarantees success.

Reviewed By Rabia Tanveer for Readers’ Favorite

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