The text is a partial first draft of the chapter Pleud Plays Piggstown from the upcoming novel The Salvador Dali Cyfer.
Pleud Plays Piggstown!
Pleud tossed and turned in her bed. She was exhausted but she had managed to stay awake long enough to shower and shave. She felt compelled to do so. Then she dressed in a blue lace and satin lingerie set designed with lace cups with Pegasus designed into the cups. Pegasus also adorned the high waist panties with seductive peep holes at the back capturing a mood of pure romance. She had covered herself in a silken kimono robe before crawling into bed to sleep. Except she couldn’t sleep. She was tossing and turning until…
Suddenly she was standing in a bar. The bar was filled with smoke. She looked at her clothing; she was wearing what she wore to bed. She looked at her feet; she sported a pair of blue Golden Goose Deluxe biker books. She brought her hands lightly to her lips. She got a corner smidgeon of lipstick on her finger to see what she had on. It had to be her Kat Von D reverb blue. She lightly ran her fingertips over her face. The tactile touch told a tale of made up for a night on the town. She felt her hair. Barrel Waves was the return notice.
She was standing with her back against a wooden column with some sort of painting on it. She turned around and found herself looking up at the image a muscular white boar in boxing trunks and boxing robe. The lettering declared the studies name to be Cholic Bacon Piggs.
She turned back to look around the bar. It was filled with humanoid animal crossbreeds. There were quite a variety of different pigs and hogs walking upright smoking and drinking. Accompanying them in the bar were all sorts of donkeys and jackasses. Also walking around were various dogs and cats. An Andalusian donkey tapped her on her shoulder. The ass carried a server’s tray. “Need a drink, sweetheart” she brayed at Pleud.
Pleud started to order but then she caught herself. She felt her pockets. “Um, no, not right now” she said. She had no money.
Laughter snorted at Pleud. A black headed pig with a pinkish coat appeared. “Look who’s here! It’s ze witch with a blue dress, blue dress on!” the pig howled with a French accent. “Let me guess. Ze Mademoiselle have no money on her, does she? Hawr Hawr Hawr!”
Other pigs in earshot joined in the laughter. Some had tusks. Some were solid colors and others were mottled. When they drank they slopped beer down their fronts and wiped it away. They were disgusting creatures. They were just like the pigs she met in bars she went into everywhere she went.
The Frenchie put his hoof on Pleud’s arm. “What’s your name, filly?” the pig derisively asked.
Pleud yanked her arm away. She knew where her bruise had come from. “My name is none of your business!” she answered.
Her reply set off a round a guffaws from the crowd. The Frenchie said to the crowd “Mon Cheri thinks her name is none of our business!” His retort set off a round a guffaws from the crowd. The Frenchie looked back at Pleud bending his snout down to her nose. “Well it just so happens we already know your name. Your name is Pleud, and you are one of The Ample Ones. Am I right?”
Pleud retorted “Maybe I am and maybe I am not. That’s my business, not yours.” Her reply set off a round a guffaws from the crowd.
The Frenchie said to her “Oh it’s your name alright! And it is my business!” He looked around at the crowd. “Isn’t that right boys?” The crowd mockingly laughed and hooted assents. The pig turned his attention back to Pleud. “You see, my name is Bask, and everything in Piggstown is my business!” The crowd mockingly laughed and hooted assents. “Including enforcing the minimum drink rule, and you don’t have a drink!” He put his body around the waitress telling Pleud “Tell you what. Why don’t you order a drink here from this nice piece of ass and I’ll put it on my tab.”
Pleud stuck her face into Basks snout. “I’ll have what I came here for” she told him “A blue motorcycle.”
Bask’s visage grew serious. He thought for a moment letting the waitress go. “Your heard the lady” he said “She’ll have a blue motorcycle.” The waitress looked at Bask. “Go ahead” he told her. Bring her a drink.” The ass walked off to fulfill the order.
Bask turned his attention back to Pleud. “And just what would you want with a blue motorcycle?” he asked her.
“That’s my business” Pleud said. She reached over into the pocket of the white human leather jacket that Bask wore. She pulled out a key ring far enough for the keys to be half in and half out of the pocket. “But I’m willing to play you a game of pool for it.” That elicited Whoo’s from the crowd.
Bask snorted. “That’s a really expensive bet to make.” He slowly ran his hoof lightly up Pleud’s body from her waist to her chin. “You don’t look like you can afford to back it up.” He laughingly snorted as he ran his hoof along her face. “Maybe we could take it out in trade. You’ve never experienced anything until you’ve experienced the joy of a pig’s orgasm. That’s a half hour of thrill to kill.” His suggestion set off a round a guffaws from the crowd. Bask picked up on it. “Why, the whole crowd here might just pay to watch!”
Pleud lightly grabbed the hoof and moved it out of her face. “I’ve met plenty of pigs in my life, and you’re not the hog I’m interested in riding. Surely there must be something else that you can propose.”
The waitress returned with Pleud’s drink. Pleud took the beverage and started drinking it down. It went right to her head. She couldn’t stop drinking it until it was all gone. She started to feel woozy. She heard Bask tell the waitress to “get her another.” The waitress walked away.
Bask grinningly looked at Pleud. “Perhaps there is something else we could bet on.” He told her.
The alcoholic beverage emboldened Plued. She lifted her hand and pointed her finger into Bask’s chest. “Name your terms, big boy!” She tapped her finger with each word until the end when her finger slipped like a drunk unable to keep pushing forward. She looked at her finger with curiosity wondering how she had broken it.
“Hawr Hawr Hawr!” Bask laughed. His swinish visage serioused up. “You want the blue motorcycle? Perhaps, then, mon reve will wager her magical powers against the blue motorcycle?”
Pleud laughed like an inebriated person. “Magical Powers? I don’t have any magical powers. I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“So you agree, then?” Bask asked. “I mean it’d be like betting your virginity. You’ve got nothing to lose!”
Pleud laughed like an inebriated person. “Well, aren’t you just the comedian! What’ll we play? Who can sink a rack of balls the fastest? Your blue motorcycle against my supposedly magical powers?”
The waitress returned handing Pleud another drink. Pleud slurped it down spilling on her top along the way. She wiped her mouth with her arm and held out her hand. “Is it a bet?”
Bask laughed. “The first to sink the balls down into the pocket” he said. He shook her hand. “Prepare to lose” he told her. He walked over to the pool table bending down underneath and pulling out a pool cue travelling case. He opened the case removing a cue and screwing it together. He came over to Pleud pointing the stick into her chest stating “Your rack.” He then pointed the stick to the waitress telling her “the lady’s is still thirsty.”
The whole bar became rapt up in the events unfolding before them. They crowded around hooting and hollering and side betting. Pleud slunk her way on over giving the crowd an “ooh and aah” show bending over to gather and rack the pool balls. She placed the balls in numerical order. She slowly lifted the rack to keep the balls in place almost clearing the last ball before bumping the rack into the balls causing a need for a rerack. The crowd enjoyed the show.
Pleud wobbled as she regathered the balls. She picked up the three ball in her hand gazing at it. The ball had an aura around it; it glowed. She looked at the rest of balls on the table. They all were glowing. She shook her head. The lights went away; the balls looked normal.
The rerack continued. Success! Pleud took the fifteen ball out and tapped down the one ball before putting the fifteen ball back. She slowly pulled the rack up with the crowd seeking to cash in on side bets of whether she would successfully get the rack off this time. Pleud managed to clear the rack over the balls this time to the loud vocal delight and indignation of the patrons. She held the rack in the air looking at it trying to figure out which of the two racks she was seeing was the real one.
Suddenly she felt a tap at her shoulder. The waitress was back with a pitcher full of blue motorcycle for Pleud to take. Pleud looked at the pitcher and her head began pounding like The Anvil Song. She made her way over to a chair at a table near the pool table. Bask drew back the pool cue to break. As soon as the cue started forward Pleud jumped up and started in singing Chi del gitano i giorni abbella? This distracted Bask enough to cause him to mishit the break leaving half the rack intact.