Kitten stood all by himself in the middle of the fairway with the sun shining brightly on him. Warm air heated his skin to just breaking a sweat temperature. Everything felt sensationally wonderful like it had never felt before.
No crowds lined the golf course. He did not know what hole he was on or even what golf course he was on other than that the fairway was immaculately groomed and soft like a spring Augusta fairway. He stood on the kind of grass that would put green grass stains on a white skirt if a white skirt rubbed along the grass.
No other golfers were on the golf course. Since no one was around he was playing two balls at the same time. He couldn’t see the tee box; his drive must be the biggest drive ever. It looked like it was the biggest drive ever. It felt like it was the biggest drive ever.
Kitten’s eyes were searching for the hole. There had to be a hole waiting for him but he didn’t see green. He thought he saw a green but the green had a dark tan color and there was no flagstick in the hole.
“What a big driver you are!” Kitten looked at the voice. A beautiful woman stood by his golf bag. She was his caddy. Her smile never ended. Her curled long blonde hair bounced on a golden silk blouse half buttoned up over a short white skirt. She reached over to pull out the driver. She ran her fingers over the driver shaft. She winkingly smiled at him asking “Let me help you swing your driver?”
Kitten knew who she was. He met her before at a golf tournament. Her name was Mesmer. He had web searched finding pictures of her. She was an Amazon to him with an Amazonian Smile and Amazonian Features. She had smiled at him and rubbed her hand through his hair as he walked by. He had been so mesmerized he walked into the patron ropes to which she said “you need someone to teach you the ropes.”
He didn’t see her. He saw features of her. He saw eyes. He saw smile. He saw lips. He saw hair. He saw some features but not others.
She came closer to him. “Let’s work on your stance” she said. Her touch sent electricity throughout every epidermal cell as she made him stand with his legs spread apart.
“Here” she said “Now let’s take the driver in hand. Ooohhh that looks good! Good form Kitten! Now, let’s work on that grip of yours. Take a firm grasp of the shaft and start swinging your hips. Start your pre-shot routine slowly and smoothly. You want to get a good rhythm going with your club. Ooohhh that’s right. Keep working that pre-shot routine. Keep working your rhythm going before you really go at it! When you feel a real big drive coming them you blast that ball as hard as you can. Use your driver with all your power! Yes! Smack that ball! Yes! Hit it hard! Oh Kitten let it all go!”
Suddenly it started raining. She vanished leaving Kitten holding a wet club in his hand…and a desire to play another hole.
Kitten slowly walked down the staircase in Father’s house. His eyes darted everywhere around him for it seemed like nothing looked the same. The furniture looked different. The artwork on the walls looked different. Father looked different. He went back to looking at everything around himself.
Father beamed like he always beamed at Kitten. “Good morning Kitten!” he told him. “So you decided to get up today, huh?”
Kitten’s head snapped to look at his Father. His neck moved so fast it caused a momentary pain pang. An “Ow!” escaped his lips. He brought a hand up to feel his neck.
Father looked at him with a knowing look. “Don’t hurt yourself” he advised Kitten. “You know how much pain and rehab with my neck and back I’ve had. You don’t want to go through that if you don’t have to. It’s better if you learn from my mistakes so you don’t experience the same pain I experienced.” He rubbed Kitten’s hair. “C’mon. There’s some coffee made if you want to give that a try to wake you up. I’ll make you some breakfast.” He put his arm around Kitten’s shoulder applying a hug and leading him toward the kitchen.
Kitten thoughtfully walked along with Father. “You’ll cook breakfast?” he asked.
“Yeah” Father explained looking at and assessing Kitten “I gave the help the day off today.” Father looked at his watch. “And since you were having so much fun in bed today we are running late towards our scheduled time at the driving range.” Father smilingly mussed Kitten’s hair. “That’s OK. It’s not a tournament day so we can run a little late for once.”
They entered the immaculate gargantuan kitchen. “How do some sunny side eggs sound?” Father asked Kitten. “Or would you like me to maybe make you a western omelet?” Father noticed the look of surprise on Kitten’s face. “What, you think your old man doesn’t know how to cook an egg?”
Kitten went and sat at a stool at the kitchen island. He watched Father pour both of them a cup of coffee. “I don’t know” Kitten said. “You’ve never cooked breakfast before.”
Father laughingly bought Kitten a cup of coffee. “You couldn’t be more wrong” he informed Kitten. “I’ve cooked breakfast many times in my life” he said while preparing the pan on the stove. “Your grandfather…my father…taught me how to cook eggs.” He walked to the refrigerator retrieving eggs and bread and diced ham and cheese. “Actually he taught me how to cook many different items” he said while placing the bread in the toaster before turning his attention back to the stove. “Maybe we’ll save some time and just scramble the eggs today” he said while cracking open the ovules emptying their contents into the pan. “I know I’ve told you before that I didn’t grow up wealthy with a housekeeping staff. We learned doing everything ourself.”
Father began scrambling Kitten’s eggs. “Now, in your life growing up things are a lot different than they will have been for me as I grew up.” He added meaty taste to the eggs he was scrambling. He could not contain his infectious smile and laughter as he moved the fork around. “I didn’t take my first charter jet flight until I was out of college; you’ve never known”…Father cocked his head and thought briefly before continuing…”and very well may never know the joy of flying commercial!”
Father focused on cooking the food. His mind thought about when he joined the Mile High Club. His mind thought about other times he validated his entry in the Mile High Club. His mind thought about his ex-wife finding out about his validation of his entry in the Mile High Club. He thought about the fact that Kitten was probably destined to join the Mile High Club. The odds of Kitten joining the Mile High Club were certainly greater than the odds of Kitten not joining the Mile High Club. He thought about someday talking to Kitten about the Mile High Club. Should today be that day? No….today would not be the day.
Father looked at Kitten. Kitten held a phone in his hands so that only the back was visible to Father. Kitten wasn’t typing so he wasn’t texting. Perhaps Kitten was looking at pictures. If he was then whose pictures was he looking at? Kitten seemed mesmerized by whatever he was looking at. Should he really ask?
The prepared plates of food were brought to the island they shared. “Here” Father said placing the plate in front of Kitten “Eat up. The sooner we get done here the sooner we can hit the driving range.”
The hypnotized Kitten continued looking at his phone. “Kitten!” Father admonished. “Please put down the phone and let’s eat.”
Kitten hit the screen off button and placed the phone down on the table. His mind wandered around while he took a bite. He nervously looked at Father then looked around and back before having another bite.
Father analyzed Kitten’s mannerisms like analyzing a how to play a five hundred yard dogleg left par four. Kitten’s darting eyes betrayed a thought process of one who is caught with a hand in the cookie jar taking out more than one cookie when they had been told to only take one cookie.
“Kitten” Father asked “What were you looking at on your phone?” He delivered his line with eyes conveying serious and playfulness simultaneously.
Kitten nervously uttered “Nothing” while he ate. He didn’t understand why he was nervous. He didn’t know why he didn’t answer the question posed the way he did answer. He just did.
Father found himself simultaneously surprised and taken aback. Kitten never held back telling Father what he was doing or thinking. This was new.
In his mind Father started forming the words Kitten, I asked you what you were looking at! His mouth stopped him from saying that. He remembered being asked what he was looking at on his phone before and replying nothing. It had never been nothing it was always something passed off as nothing. Like Father like Kitten.
Kitten wanted nothing. Kitten had the whole world in the palm of his hands and yet he wanted nothing. Kitten was too young to want nothing. Father could provide Kitten everything but nothing. Father could buy Kitten nothing except that he couldn’t do that even though he knew that he could do that. But Father knew Kitten had the same drive and determination to succeed at nothing for Father raised him with that same drive and determination. He had put the food on Kitten’s plate.
Father looked Kitten in the eye with the glare of knowledge. “I think I know what you were looking at. I think we need to talk about that. I told you; I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I made.” Father told him. “You were looking at the website Cougars Crave Kitten.”