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  1. Messieurs League, Little, and Ivy
  2. Twee Wee 
  3. Lilith O’Leddy 
  4. Machtergreifung 
  5. Machtübernahme 
  6. Nacht Of The Blue Weinerschnitzel 
  7. Corpulent Sam 
  8. The Faithful

 Messieurs League, Little, and Ivy

Monsieur League woke up in the sprawling bed at the top of the splendorous hotel. His head hurt. The ringing in his head was internal and external. His GoldBrickBerry phone rang in unison with his hangover.

His phone lay in the other room of the suite. He moved aside the flesh he had been rubbing against to make his way to the party area of the accommodations. He didn’t make it in time; the call went to voicemail.

Mister Ivy walked in from another bedroom. He held his head. “Oooooooh what a flippin’ party! Dang my head hurts!” He spotted the hookers on the couch. “Yours?” he asked.

Monsieur League started to speak but could not. His nose contained too much dust. He fumbled for a piece of intimates laying about the room. It took a moment for him to blow his nose into the sexy wear. “Guh” he exclaimed. “There’s so much damn money up my nose I felt afraid to blow it!” He looked back around the room. “Nah, I don’t think they are mine. Mine are in the bedroom.” He walked to the windows to pull the shades. “Where are we?”

The drapery parted bringing noon time light into the room. Mister Ivy walked up. “Hell, I don’t know” he said. “There’s palm trees. It’s either the east or the west coast.” He thought a second. “Oh heck, we’re in Vegas!”

Monsieur League smacked Mister Ivy upside the head. “You need to sober up! We’re on Wall Street!” Both men started laughing so hard they were afraid their septum’s would fall out.

Their GoldPhone’s rang again. Each man picked up their calls. Their headaches exploded.

“EFF!” Mister Ivy exclaimed. “It’s the casino calling. I frickin’ lost on all those parleys and trifectas and quinellas and other bets I had out there. I gotta call the bank and get some cash to cover my margins!”

“Me too!” Monsieur League rejoined. “Then I can take a nap and tap some more a what’s here before heading out to the Taj. It’s party time!”

They called their banks. “Whaddaya mean my credits tanked?” they both belligerently argued. They argued through their headaches and nasal drip but the banks said no.

Monsieur League and Mister Ivy looked at each other in a panic. They looked at the girls and the drugs and the hotels and the houses and the jewelry and trinkets and said in stereo “We need some more cash!”

“What’ll we do?” Mister Ivy wondered in a panic. “What’ll we do? Our heavens are crashing around us!”

“We’ll call our buddy Little!” Monsieur League exclaimed. “He’ll give us all the cash we need!”

The Fowlphone rang in the office of Chicken Little. The voice told him “Buck Buck…buck buck buck buck…BUCK buck BUCK BUCK! BUCK BUCK!”

Chicken Little dropped the phone. He ran out of the office tearing down the street screaming BUCK a trillion times. The sky was falling.

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 Twee Wee

Twee Wee did not the snow see she wanted Twee Wee to see. To see Twee Wee Twee Wee she needed to be where she could see Twee Wee.

Christmas Day jubilee still be as silently Twee Wee lay as still as Twee Wee could be thinking about Twee Wee’s Christmas cookie. Cold came to be when Twee Wee spirit she came to be at the sill via all her will. No snow did she see reflect in the eyes of Twee Wee. She felt ill at the sill for Twee Wee see Twee Wee’s cookie. Santa he didn’t come to see Twee Wee. He didn’t like my cookie? wondered Twee Wee.

Seek she Twee Wee a present to see a blanket of snow that be on the Tree of Mii that she Twee Wee did not see. If Santa is real then what is his deal? Is he a schlemiel? He is a heel! But I won’t peel to a place to kneel and keel despite my lack of weal Twee Wee pouted with zeal.

No Christmas Day jubilee indeed for Twee Wee for cling not to the snowy Twee she. Wii shall ferry Twee Wee to a forest with Mii happily thought she. Merry we shall be merry free when marry with Snowy Tree to make Twee Wee happy.

Lightly down the stairs she did see Twee Wee nimbly and chilly float. A Magic Tree is what I need!

Twee Wee fixatedly stare she the glowing star on the Christmas Tree. The light from the star sent out a bar magically from the tree Twee Wee did see she set her stocking glowingly.

Quite a sight! Her white light shone haloing the night. Incite ignite in sight her stocking so bright that delight Twee Wee Twee Wee did now she see. The height light to fireside stocking sight did not fright it sent an invite. Look at me Wii Twee Wee said she. Your stocking be bulky. Inside is a fizzy wizzy present for thee.

Looking inside excitedly Twee Wee did see she Wii and a Pixie Stixx inside the glowing stocking. Christmas for Mii beauty Twee Wee! whimsy she.

Twee Wee see the forest Tree comfy Wii be swimming in her sea of Christmas Tree decoratedly. Gifts had the Christmas tree he for Twee Wee that Twee Wee did not see for the new Wii Tree for Twee Wee to be free to see.

Free Mii Tree Wii and see she happy eternally be eternally Twee Wee with she new Wii thought she be Mii Twee Wee. Santa he envy she!

Twee Wee free Wii Tree and Pixie Stix from her stockee. Pixie Stixx Dust be flaky snowy thought Twee Wee TV consoling the game of Tree. For me Twee Wee Wii Pixie Dust be all over my Tree! Twee Wee think excitedly.

Tree she Twee Wee start the TV. The channel changed to be Wii. Twee Wee ate Pixie Stixx starting she Tree. The Pixie Dust a must a bond of trust. From the dust a gust of snow did blow through Twee Wee blizzardly.

Pixie Stixx Dust and Wii ferry Twee Wee Wii to the land of Tree Mii fantasy be reality. Cold breeze blew Pixie Mii over Twee Wee the edge of the forest be.

Pixie Mii she Twee Wee she see. Pixie Mii she see say to Twee Wee My Baby you must be the prettiest Twee Wee that we ever did see in the land of the Tree! Will Twee Wee please come with Pixie me to the fire that be among the Wii tree where there we be warm as Twee Wee we be?

Why thank you, Pixie say curtsy Twee Wee politely. That would be very nice indeed!

The snow below came to her knee but Twee Wee she did Wii see Twee Wee wear a coat of warmth and beauty. Into Tree Twee Wee Pixie said. Hurriedly!

Suddenly Twee Wee feel a pang of misery. Wii became a mystery. Why Pixie Twee Wee say should we need to hurry into the Tree? We can stay here and play pleasantly just as free as we can be.

There be the Yeti say she Pixie. Hairy is he; ugly as can be. Only when we Twee Wee be at the Magic Tree free of Yeti shall free Twee Wee be. For the Yeti he care not be near a Tree so deathly to he.

Gee Pixie ye silly be say Twee Wee pertly. There is no Yeti that I see. Here on the edge of the forest Wii be very free to play with thee.

Yeti he scary be very stealthy despite being wooly and stocky say Pixie tartly. In Pixie Mii Twee Wee you must believe for if the Yeti he get ye then we Wii cannot be at the Tree magically. Sad Pixie Mii me indeed for who will then eat the cookie that Twee Wee baked for she?

Twee Wee listen not to Mii she Wii. Twee Wee skip gaily through the yummy snow that blow all around. Her coat of blue blew open but ruddy blood flow to Twee Wee’s cheeks. The breath in the air did she Twee Wee see.

Suddenly EEEEEEEEEE scream Twee Wee. From the snow below Yeti he show. Hairy he grab Twee Wee. Come with Yeti Mii Cutie Twee Wee roar Hairy he and we shall be in a land of reality. Be not sickly for wooly warm am me! Look! Your coat turns from blue to red as the blood flows to your head. So warm is the air unfrozen is your hair and you cannot stare at the air there from your lung bare! Have Christmas with me Twee Wee and happy you be!

Pixie Mii she be in fury. Snugly Twee Wee Yeti held he. Tree Wii Pixie Mii this not foresee. Let Twee Wee be! She yelled screamingly. You are much too tawdry!!!

Hee Hee Hee!! Chuckle Hairy Yeti he. Pixie Mii baby sorcery too eerie for Twee Wee to see. Twee Wee shall be as tall as a tree just she wait and see said he fiery.

Twee Wee see icy sea from Pixie Mii. Empty of esprit emotionally Twee Wee. Her mind be druggy. This game is freaky!

There they stood outside the wood. Would Twee Wee be with Pixie Mii or Hairy He Yeti?

Yeti I see you are so hairy said Twee Wee. So friendly to me I wonder if you be tickly and giggly? Let me see!

Yeti he belly Twee Wee tickle Yeti like a kitty. Hee Hee, Hee, Hee giggle He.

Twee Wee giggle Hee Hee. It please Twee Wee to tickle he Yeti. Yeti he be a cutie!

Pixie Mii she see opportunity. Over Yeti he she her Pixie Stixx tap on his head. Dust did flow among the snow that did blow. Yeti he feel silly from the dust of she and the tickle of Twee Wee. He became nutty.

Sneezy he felt Yeti significantly. Achoo! He blew. Twee Wee Mii she flew to the edge of the tree.

Pixie Mii she fly a snowstorm around he Yeti. Flee! Flee! Flee Twee Wee from the Yeti! Scream she Mii Pixie. Be Free!

Twee Wee trustee in Pixie Mii she. Through the forest Twee Wee did see the magical tree. Through the snow go Twee Wee ski to the Magic Tree.

Lumberingly Yeti he Pixie Mii she follow Twee Wee. Yeti he see Twee Wee coat color change she from red to blue as she flew past branch after branch knocking needle and snow into his face and down below. Twee Wee! Yeti he cry hoarsely Twee Wee! Come back to me! Don’t be fooled by the nasty Pixie Mii!

Twee Wee enjoy to be chasee by Yeti he and Pixie Mii she. Swinging branch after branch Twee Wee caused an avalanche of snow to go knock her below. Giggle Twee Wee as see above she Pixie Mii at the Magic tree of Tree. Her breath did not blow for he Yeti to know. Yeti he slow.

Pixie’s Stixx hit the tree covering Twee Wee in blanket of snow that be so warm when Pixie Mii she knocked Pixie Dust snow on Twee Wee. Giggle Pixie Mii she Twee Wee for she bury Twee Wee where Yeti could not see.

Weep Yeti he in the Forest of Tree for Twee Wee cry Yeti hairy he. Pixie she bury Twee Wee. Twee Wee my love she I shall no longer can see!

Left Yeti he no more Twee Wee he see. Teary he not see how Twee Wee could have left him be.

Twee Wee see she a forest of sea of Christmas Tree decoratedly. Pixie Mii she bake a cookie for Twee Wee Mii so she see Twee Wee Twee Wee Mii indeed Santa he had come to be she. Twee Wee Mii she be happy.

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 Lilith O’Leddy

I must dead head my roses today is what Lilith thought as she lay in bed. Performing this task is a matter of extreme importance.

Lilith climbed out of bed and put on a robe. She went to the bathroom and then returned to make her bed. When she completed that task she carefully made coffee. The water needed to be carefully measured for two cups as well as the grounds to be measured for two scoops. The next task to be achieved was morning paper retrieval from the front yard while the coffee brewed.

Lil felt she was presentable enough in her morning gown to perform paper retrieval. No neighbors would probably see her without her makeup and shower being applied. She exited the front door of her son’s house and ambled out to get the news. The sprinklers had gone on overnight and this made her happy. Her garden plots all looked good but the yard needed some raking. Those darn pine needles just won’t go away!

Spider webs caught her eye. The spiders frustrated her. She would spray the bushes and trees again. The spiders just wouldn’t cooperate by going away.

Lil’s attention became distracted again. “Shoo!” she said as loud as she dared to yell. “Shoo! Go away!” The annoying squirrels just wouldn’t pay attention. They stared at her from across the yard nibbling away at something in their paws. She wanted to step out into the yard but the yard was moist and she didn’t want to get her slippers wet. Her frustration level grew. The squirrels needed to go away. All they did was tear up her son’s yard. She waved her arms some more and the squirrels ran off towards the back yard. Lil’s frustration grew more. The squirrels were probably going to try and get food from the bird feeder in the back yard and that was no good.

She retrieved the paper and headed back indoors. The plastic wrapper for the paper was placed in the recycle bin on the way to the kitchen. Mandatory breakfast came next. She opened the cupboard. Three different brands of cereal awaited her decision making process. She stared at the boxes and read and reread the labels. Each meal of the day needed to be perfect which required making the perfect choice which meant which was the perfect choice of the three boxes of cereal that filled her vision? She was not sure. It took time to make a decision.

Eventually a selection was made. She sliced some fruit to go on the cereal and Lilith had her breakfast and coffee and newspaper. The sun rose higher in the sky and the day became warmer. Lilith noticed the open windows. The air conditioning had kicked in. She hurried to close the windows at the back porch.

A beautiful red cardinal sat at the bird feeder. She could tell it was the male. Where was the female? She watched the bird peck at the food. She saw some seed spray south to the ground. Those annoying squirrels were there to eat the seed. Conflict existed. Should she shoo the squirrels and thereby shoo the cardinal?

The female cardinal flew in. Now she could not go out and shoo the squirrels away. She experienced simultaneous agitation and peace.

A couple Blue Jays flew in and chased the Cardinals away. This produced sadness for her but now she had a reason to chase the squirrels off.

When she was done she returned and realized she needed to finish her breakfast and reading the newspaper. While reading she thought about her son whom she lived with. A surprise business trip had come up a couple of days ago. She wondered where he was in his travels. Would he be back in time for the two of them to go to the minor league baseball game that night? She was not sure. She was low on his milk but she had been denied her driver’s license since her stroke and she became angry that she could not just drive to the store and get some milk.

She knew that her anger was getting the best of her so there was only one thing to do. She would say her prayers and then she would be done saying her prayers for the day and she would feel the relief of The Lord filling her.

Lilith made her way to her bedroom. She knelt at the bed like a seven year old instead of an eighty-seven year old. She prayed for all her children and all her grandchildren and for the pastors and for her friends and for her country. She prayed against all the evil in today’s world.

Her body informed her of the need to remove materials. She headed to the facility and took care of business. Everything occurred fine and this made her happy. This had not been the case recently.

She noticed the healed scar in her wrist had almost all but faded. The doctors at the National Health and Wellness Committee (NHWC) felt that her blood pressure was high and they had prescribed statins for her take as well as implanting a monitoring chip in her wrist to remotely monitor her health. The statins created a loss of bowel control and she had endured for weeks the indignity and embarrassment of letting loose uncontrollably in the house and out in public.

The doctors prescribed anti-statins to take with the statins to counteract the side effects of the statins but her son convinced her to not take statins at all rather than to increase the amount of medications she took. She regained control of her body and her son then convinced her to have the chip removed by someone he knew since the NHWC refused removal of the chip. Lil was so proud of her son. He took care of her in her older age and she didn’t need to live in a facility without any family around where strangers took care of her. She had a lovely front and backyard to tend to and this made her happy.

When she was done she arose and took a shower and got dressed. She had not seen her son for a few days so she wanted to grill some nice steaks that night for dinner before they went to the baseball game so she put pulled out some steaks to thaw. Goodness she thought I need to clean up the morning dishes and coffee pot. I am just so lazy!

After wiping the dishes and putting them away in the dishwasher Lilith went out to the front yard. More pine needles had fallen down from the neighbors pine tree. There always seemed to be more and more needles. She was constantly raking them up along with the squigglies that fell down from the tree. Every week it seemed like she put a big trash bag at the curb just of debris from that darn pine tree. Oh how she wished she could have it cut down! Well, time to get the rake and to go to work. She couldn’t let the neighborhood see her with a yard that had pine needles in either the yard or the flower beds. She would rake and then pick the needles out of the flower bed and then she would tend to her flowers.

The vehicles pulled up into the driveway shortly after she started raking. There were two large vans that took up the driveway. The vans arrived together. This really surprised Lilith. She hadn’t been expecting visitors.

The smiling men and women exited the vehicles. There were five of them; three men and two women of differing ethnicities. They were all smartly dressed. One smiling man and woman approached her while the other three stood at the end of the driveway. “Lilith O’Leddy?” the woman asked.

Lilith found the situation a bit overwhelming. Who were these people? Why were there so many of them? What did they want? “Yes?” Lil replied. “I am Lilith O’Leddy.”

“Mrs. Lilith” the man said. “My name is Doctor Noital.” He pointed to the woman with him. “This is doctor Bess Intress.”

“Yes?” Lil said. Her eyes fixated on the two of them in front of her.

“Yes” Bess replied. “Well, Mrs O’Leddy…do you prefer Lilith?”

“Yes” Lilith said. “Most people call me Lilith.”

“Well, Lilith” Dr. Intress spoke. “We are here from the National Health and Wellness Committee. How are you doing today?”

“I am fine” Lilith said.

The two doctors looked at each other. Doctor Intress continued. “Well, Mrs. Lilith, the reason for our visit today is that we are a bit concerned for your health. We have been monitoring your prescription use and also your health chip sensor and the results of each have not been satisfactory. Your health chip has not been sending signals and we were hopeful to run a scan on it. If you don’t mind, of course.”

Lilith rubbed her wrist where the chip had been removed. “Oh, well, I don’t have the chip anymore” Lilith told them.

“You don’t have the chip anymore?” Doctor Noital asked.

“That’s right” Lilith told them. “My son didn’t think that I needed so he had it removed for me.”

“Really?” Dr. Bess said. “And where did your son remove the chip? Did he do it here?” she asked.

Lilith implicitly told the truth because she always told the truth about anything whenever anyone asked her about anything. “Well, my son. See the pills that my doctor prescribed they…well…” the embarrassment of talking to strangers kicked in “well taking the pills I could not control my bodily functions and every day it was just a mess and my son convinced me to stop taking the pills and then things became a lot better.”

“Now, Lilith” Doctor Noital said “That’s why you had a prescription for the anti-statin so that you could have that problem taken care of. You do want to take care of your medical problems, don’t you? You know, we are very concerned and we want to take care of your medical problems.”

“But I don’t have a medical problem” Lilith said.

The doctors smiled kindly at Lil O’Leddy. “Lil” Doctor Bess Intress spoke “Everyone has medical problems! That’s why we are here. We want to help you with your medical problems. That’s why we had the monitoring chip put into your body. It’s all so we can help you with your medical problems. You do want to be healthy, don’t you?”

Lilith started to become confused. She was healthy for an eighty-seven year old…wasn’t she? Lil turned to look at her raking and her yard. Pine needles littered the yard. Now, Lil didn’t want to be rude because being rude was not nice and Lil always tried her best to be nice. But she didn’t know who these people were and what were the gentlemen at the end of the driveway talking about as the pointed at the house and her flowers.

Lilith desired to clean up her yard. “Well, I am doing fine” she told them. “Now if you’ll excuse me I want to get back to raking my yard.”

“Lilith” Bess forcibly asked. “Where is your monitoring chip?”

“My son had it removed for me” she said. “He brought someone he knew on by the house and they removed it and I am OK and I haven’t missed it” she told them. These people really started perturbing Lilith. She put her rake down and ambled off to the garage to get some clippers. Some of her bushes needed trimming.

When Lilith came out of the garage the annoying people were still there. The gentlemen at the end of the driveway had moved up the walk and they were turning the knob on her front door. This infuriated Lilith. She moved forward to the house unknowingly waving her clippers in front of her.. “Hey!” she yelled as loud as she could. “Stop that! What do you think you are doing?!”

The doctors waited until Lilith got inside before making their move. They smiled at each other. They knew they were provoking a scene. They wanted to avoid a public scene at all costs. They followed Lilith into the house.

Lilith wondered about her flowers while she lay in the bed in the small room by herself.. Her sadness was crushing her. She didn’t know what had happened. Where was her son and her friends and her house and her bed? Things had happened so fast. She went inside the house…her son’s house…when those crooks had entered. They had grabbed her and she struggled and they gave her something and she had awakened wherever here was. She needed help. Where was her son?

The embarrassment returned. She tried to get out of the bed in time but it was to no use. Her hands went to her head for the tears were uncontrollable. She felt so much degradation combined with embarrassment as well as smelling foul odors. She lay there for a minute and prayed to God for help.

The door to her room opened. A couple of females entered. They had thick accents that Lilith could not understand but she could tell that they were there to clean and bathe her. They held up her arms and walked her to a room with a shower. The disrobed her and threw away the clothing and brought a simple cloth robe. She missed her silk print robe of Marilyn Monroe images. Who were these people and where was she? The shower started and they woman started washing her body. To Lilith’s embarrassment she let loose again.

The women cleaned her body and dried her off and gave her a robe. When the robe went over her arms she noticed the scar on her wrist. She had been re-implanted.

Lilith was led back to her bed. Doctor Bess Intress came into the room. With a typical doctor’s bedside manner the doctor smiled saying “Good Morning, Miss Lilith. How are you today?”

Lilith hated the evil woman in front of her. “Where am I? I want to go home!” Lilith told her.

The eye-device in Doctor Intress’ pocket beeped. The knowing eye illuminated all to the Doctor.

The physician removed the eye-device and eyeballed it. “Now, calm down there Miss Lilith. Your blood pressure is way too high. See?” She turned the device to show Lilith numbers on a display and then turned the device away.

Tears flowed from Lilith’s eyes. “I want to talk to my son. I want to go home” she sobbed.

The beeping from the eye-device started. Doctor Intress pressed buttons on the device. Lilith felt funny. Depressants released into her blood stream. She felt weary listening to Doctor Intress speak.

“Lil” she heard “This is your home now. The National Health and Wellness Committee will now see to all your needs. You see, your son committed a crime against the State by removing the chip from you and he committed the crime inside his house so the house has been confiscated for the benefit of the State. Your son is also undergoing rehabilitation therapy since his thoughts are contrary to benefitting your health. Just relax and we will take care of you.”

Lil O’Leddy fell back onto the bed. She would no longer see a bright flower from her garden. She knew that the National Health and Wellness Committee had deadheaded her rose.

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Dieter Rhinestalk stood amongst the crowd listening to the Father speak. Because of his status as one of the faithful Dieter owned a prime spot for the massively staged event.

“I will employ my strength for the welfare of the German people, protect the Constitution and laws of the German people, conscientiously discharge the duties imposed on me, and conduct my affairs of office impartially and with justice to everyone."

Dieter swelled with pride. The day of reckoning had arrived. The Father now was Chancellor. Tears flowed from Dieter’s eyes.

He looked around at the day of spectacle. Column after column of the faithful adorned the plaza. The numbers had to be in the hundred thousand. Glorious music filled the air. Speeches and cheering filled the air.

The adornments filled their hair and covered their bodies. They wore adornments of symbolic tribute to the Father who would save the Country from The Evil Ones. Makeup proclaimed this. Shirts proclaimed this. Buttons and bands proclaimed this. Children and babies were made up to proclaim this.

The speech made the day. The flowing river of words spoke of national pride. It spoke of change and of hope and of rebuilding the nation. Dieter knew that this meant rebuilding the image in the image of the Father. This is the future of now!

And then it happened. The Father came through to greet the crowd. Dieter resisted the urge to break rank and go and bow down at the feet of the Father to ask for his blessing. Instead he waved his hand out hoping it would be shaken. To his everlasting delight he felt the flesh of The Father become part of his Flesh. It lasted a moment but oh what a moment it was.

Dieter looked at the men and women around him and he saw the same rapture in their faces too. They, too, felt the touch of the Father. Dieter could not let the moment end and he could barely wait for the next large rally to start.

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Joe Psudograss stood amongst the crowd listening to the Prophet speak. Because of his status as one of the faithful Joe owned a prime spot for the massively staged event.

“I do solemnly swear that I will execute the Office of President of the United States faithfully, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Joe swelled with pride. The day of reckoning had arrived. The Prophet now was President. Tears flowed from Joe’s eyes.

He looked around at the day of spectacle. Column after column of the faithful adorned the plaza. The numbers had to be in the hundred thousand. Glorious music filled the air. Speeches and cheering filled the air.

The adornments filled their hair and covered their bodies. They wore adornments of symbolic tribute to the Prophet who would save the Country from The Evil Ones. Makeup proclaimed this. Shirts proclaimed this. Buttons and bands proclaimed this. Children and babies were made up to proclaim this.

The speech made the day. The flowing river of words spoke of national pride. It spoke of change and of hope and of rebuilding the nation. Joe knew that this meant rebuilding the image in the image of the Prophet. This is the future of now!

And then it happened. The Prophet came through to greet the crowd. Joe resisted the urge to break rank and go and bow down at the feet of the Prophet to ask for his blessing. Instead he waved his hand out hoping it would be shaken. To his everlasting delight he felt the flesh of The Prophet become part of his Flesh. It lasted a moment but oh what a moment it was.

Joe looked at the men and women around him and he saw the same rapture in their faces too. They, too, felt the touch of the Prophet. Joe could not let the moment end and he could barely wait for the next large rally to start.

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 Nacht Of The Blue Weinerschnitzel

June 30 heralded the dog days of summer. Representative Sturma B. Teilung stood at the podium in his starched brown shirt speaking to his constituents.

“The reason I voted for this legislation is not because that I believe that this legislation will actually do something positive for America for indeed I truly believe that this legislation will lead to a socialist America rather than achieving any of the reforms that the legislation is purported to achieve but this legislation is the best legislation that can be passed to achieve the interests of the special interests in mind while keeping the bill under 2,000 pages in length for the length of the bill is the most important number in the numbers game of rating the bill. Now if you will excuse me I must be going to take my dog for a walk.”

The full speech was similarly convoluted in logic but logic is irrelevant to following the money. To be reelected he needed green and political capital. This was known and this is why he received the notice for an evening soiree. The notice came in an envelope emblazoned with a hummingbird on it.

The notice directed Sturma to a meeting after he was done speaking at the fundraiser. The meeting was to be held in Dachau field. The field was located next to a grand mansion painted in white. Sturma was to bring his pet along with him.

Sturma entered the field with his endangered blue Kromfohrlander on a leash. Nervous anxiety filled Sturma’s being. Alone with his toy dog he stumbled through the field. The dark prevented much from being seen. He fired up a cigarette.

“Who’s there?” Sturma heard asked of him. A male figure with a dog on a leash ambled towards him. Sturma remained quiet while puffing away. When the figure came close enough Sturma heard the voice say “Oh, it is you. Hello Sturma. What are you doing here?”

Sturma recognized the speaker. It was the defrocked Father Bernard S. Temple. The priest was out walking his little toy dog.

“Father Bernhard” Sturma asked “What are you doing out here this evening? Working on a new ghosted autobiography?”

“My Life became a bestseller” Father Bernhard replied. “It is a shame that few will know of my true contribution to the greater good of our society.” Father paused. “Got a smoke?” he asked.

“I thought you quit” Sturma replied as he offered a death stick as well as a light.

Father nervously laughed. “I only smoke off camera. That is the same as not smoking at all for what the cameras see and the news agencies report is what is real and what is off camera is not real.”

Father Bernhard lit up. The flame illuminated the brown shirt of the priest as well as the blue color of the dog. Sturma asked again “So, just what are you doing here, Father?”

Father Bernhard exhaled. “I don’t imagine it is a coincidence that either of us are here this evening. I received a request for a meeting. It didn’t come from you.”

A Coleman lantern was seen in the distance. The flashing beacon appeared to be coming from a forest. Sturma said “That must be our signal. Let’s go.”

They moved towards the signal. Their blue dogs led the way. The air smelled of a nearby swamp. Other figures could be seen silhouetted moving towards call. They seemed to also be walking toy dogs.

A splash was heard nearby. A voice could be heard cursing in the sedge.

“Who’s in the swamp there?” Sturma called out.

A voice said “My name is Will. Will Schmid. Can you help me out here? I can’t see where I am going. I’m kinda lost in the gunk here!”

Sturma and Father Bernhard flicked Bic’s to give Will some light. Will mucked his way over to the two gentlemen. “Thank you” he said. “I couldn’t see where I was going.”

Sturma asked “What are you doing out here?” His dog started yipping and sniffing at the newcomer.

“Hey!” Will exclaimed. “This is one of them rare blue dogs, isn’t it? My brother has himself one of them.”

“That still doesn’t explain your presence here” Father Bernhard replied.

“Oh, well, my brother got an invite to meet for some campaign funding” Will explained. “But he is out of town. He never saw the invite. Now, normally I am taking in a show of some sort…I am a theater critic, you see…but I decided to do my brother a favor and come to this meeting for him.” He paused. “Is that what you two are here for?”

“Well, yeah” Sturma said. He pointed off to the forest. “The signal seemed to be coming from over there.”

The three men and two blue dogs made their way to the forest signal. They met a group of armed gentlemen at the edge of the forest. Sturma started to speak “Hello, I am Sturma…”

One of the group of men stopped him. “Shh! Who you are is not important right now. Come with me. This path leads to a camp where we can talk.”

The gentleman led him on a walk illuminated by a flashlight. The forest grew darker and deeper. The sky disappeared from above. They continued in for maybe a mile.

Suddenly Sturma, Father Bernhard and Will were beset by silent strikers appearing and attacking from behind trees. The assault occurred fast and silently. Their knees and heads were quickly struck to send the three men to the ground. Before any man could utter anything they were on the ground with a gag in their mouths. Bodies sat on top of bodies to keep them pinned while binding occurred.

Their heads were grabbed by their hair and flash lights shone forward. They could see the blue dogs yelping in front of them. A strong gentleman grabbed one of the dogs by the throat and held it up to be seen. The blue dog struggled but the toy was not match for the power at its throat. Out of the knight a long knife appeared in the other hand of the sadist holding the dog. He plunged the blade in the gut of the dog and ripped the insides to shreds while the blue dog screamed in pain.

When the process completed the sadist grabbed the other dog. Looking at the blue dog he said “You know what is coming, don’t you? I’m going to carve you into blue Weinerschnitzel for my master to eat for breakfast!” With that he gleefully walked the dog over to the three gentlemen on the ground and disemboweled the blue dog so that the innards dropped over the men’s bodies during the process.

Other hideous screams could be heard from various spots in the darkness of the forest. More long knives were at work in the night.

The lights were turned on the gentlemen. A leg kicked Will and a voice said “Hey, this one doesn’t have a brown shirt!”

“Doesn’t matter” Will heard right before he felt the long blade enter his back. While screaming through the gag Will felt more and more long knives slice his body to pieces until he no longer was alive to feel the slicing.

Father Bernhard was beset upon next. He too became a victim of gleeful carving.

Sturma watched each death. The leader said to him “No knives for you, my brown shirted friend. We are going to hack you to bits with axes and then dump your body in the swamp.” The promise was fulfilled.

The state controlled media trumpeted the replacement members of the government over investigating what happened to the prior members of the government. The Attorney General’s department performed the investigations.

At the swearing in breakfast sausage was served. Attendees relished the meal.

Still, there were questions being asked that needed addressing. The Department of Homeland Security made the following proclamation:

The Department of Homeland Security was forced to cauterize down to the raw flesh the ulcers poisoning the wells in our domestic life. Let the nation know that its existence- which depends on its internal order and security-cannot be threatened with impunity by anyone! And let it be known for all time that if anyone raises his hand to strike the State, then certain death is his lot.

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 Corpulent Sam

Corpulent Sam awoke from his narcosis. He lay prone on his obese stomach on his massive bed in the master bedroom of his fifty acre estate. His gaze traveled around the room.

Towards the east in the room was a large neatly organized mechanical contraption of thousands of containers of designer drugs. Tubes ran from the contrivance combining into a series of hypodermic needles running into Sam’s back. The drugs nourished Sam and kept him sedated. He no longer needed nature’s foods for nature had been improved upon for Sam’s benefit. This capitol capital device provided for Sam. With no need to move Sam’s body had grown to an incredible size.

Sixty years ago Sam had been a strong boxer. Over years he defeated all challengers while he built his estate. He had been so strong and powerful that the rules of engagement changed. To train for these new bouts he agreed to let his handlers train him in new scientific methods. His current condition was the result of his training. Too late he realized that it was his staff that stabbed him in his back.

A black velour décor filled Sam’s eyes. The room was lit by a tripod containing a brazier of fire that glaringly illumined the room.

Sam looked west out the balcony and saw a crimson dawn shining through deep scarlet blood colored panes. A red death was ending a long march towards him.

The scarlet sky brought a green rain. The farmers and squatters on Sam’s estate were drenched in the persistent poisonous precipitation. Crops grew but the poison genetically altered the plants. Consumption of the harvest affected his staff and relatives. This concerned Sam but he was too fat and near death to do anything about it. He watched the rain overflow from a massive pluviometer on the balcony.

Sam saw a long IV tube running from the udometer into the room. The tube attached to his penis. The tube brought the rain into his body. Separate catheters drained his blood and waste below the bed to somewhere he could not see.

Movement occurred in the doorway. Sam recognized his niece Jane and nephew John. “Uncle” they cried “We have finally found you. We need to unhook you from these unholy devices and nurse you back to health.” In their hands were containers bearing potions of bitter tea. “Drink this” they said “While we figure out how to remove these tubes without destroying your constitution.” They moved to the bed.

More movement occurred in the doorway. Doctor Potus, Sam’s eternal physician, stood in the doorway. Cerement habiliments shrouded his visage from head to toe. Blood covered his surgical mask as well as his broad brow. The doctor came into the room.

Entering the room behind the doctor came Sam’s treacherous servants, Don Key and Ellie Fant. They too wore masques. Their ornate expensive facial coverings were a combination of birds of prey with bulbous cheeks like a rear end. The masques were also fashioned with a pachyderm trunk for a nose. Don and Ellie sported fine bloody silk robes.

“Restrain those un-American immoral rebels!” Doc Potus directed. “Bind them to chairs so they can watch my latest new surgical miracle! Muzzle their mouths so they cannot speak! While you are at it take their wallets and rob them. Fill your bank accounts with their earnings.”

The servants attacked. Don assaulted John and Ellie jumped Jane. The servants were too large and powerful for Jane and John to stand up to and win. Resistance was futile. They were brutally beaten, gagged, and tied to chairs.

With John and Jane successfully restrained Don and Ellie opened their victims wallets. They forged the Doe signatures on a variety of checks. Don and Ellie then checked the account balances and cried to Doc Potus “You lied to us. They don’t have the money to pay our bills.”

Doc Potus looked out the west window at menacing maroon. The curer-in-chief delightedly cackled “When you sell their children into slavery you will generate all the money you need!”

The doctor turned to Sam and said “You are aware? You must have developed a tolerance level to your treatments. It is of no consequence. Like the relatives you are beholden to you are too weak to do anything about what is going to happen now. The illness consuming you and your relatives is your independence. Independence prevents assimilation. Since you refuse assimilation I am remaking you into a new being!”

He continued. “You wonder why I recreate your body for you, don’t you? The reason is because science has proven that nature is flawed. Human science is the only intelligent design. Nature is a world based upon hard work and making and growing things and consuming those things. Human science is a world of money and using deceit and genetic drugs to lazily move through life. I foresee a future where money does grow on trees and rains from the sky! This is a future I have built with my climate control machine that keeps the sky red and the rain green. I am the master over nature now!”

Sam wept for the future he saw. Red blood flowed from his eyes over his white skin that was covered in blue bruises. His bowels released.

“Ugh” “P-U” and other exclamations came from Don and Ellie. “God, that stinks!”

“Yes it does” Doc Potus replied. “That is a side effect from the drugs Sam is on. We need to fix that” the physician said. “Cutting out the gastrointestinal tract is imperative. Immediate surgery is required. We need to winch Sam so his body is vertical over the bed.”

The servants obliged. It took hours of work to mechanically move Sam into position but they admired their hard work when it was completed. Jane and John gazed with horror at the visage their Uncle Sam had been transformed into.

The surgeon produced a scalpel. Eschewing anesthetic the surgeon plunged the knife in Sam’s gut and cut. The cut went up to the larynx. The cut went down to the rectum. “What God created I will gut and improve” Doc Potus gleefully exclaimed. “It’s all good!”

Doc Potus removed Sam’s alimentary organs. He left Sam’s inside open and exposed while he admired his work.

Sam’s body reacted. Skin bubbles grew on Sam’s extremities as the real estate covering his hide stretched upwards. The bubbles looked like big dots derived from skin. The surgeon turned to Don and Ellie and pointed to empty hypodermics on a bed stand. “Quick! Hurry! Bring me syringes filled with rain.”

Don and Ellie obliged. They ran to the balcony and gathered the green water into the hypodermic barrels and brought them to the Doctor. Potus injected the bubbles while speaking. “We can’t let the bubbles burst. That will doom us all.” The bubbles slowly receded.

Sam looked down at his body and saw what he had become. He was a bloated body splayed open relying on an influx of toxic green rain and IV’s of drug company products to survive. The red dawn deepened in the room. Anxiety struck.

The rain outside stopped and the IV tube emptied. Sam’s heart raced and grew in size. Sam passed out. Don and Ellie looked at Doc Potus and asked “What should we do?”

The doctor replied in a panic “I don’t know! I didn’t plan on this happening! The rain is never supposed to stop feeding Sam.”

Sam’s heart grew larger and larger like a massive bubble. The doctor panicked in fear. He shot a dose of adrenaline into Sam’s throat to wake the patient. “SAM! SAM!” Doc Potus cried.

The adrenaline jolted Sam awake. He realized he had no GI tract. He saw his heart enlarged as big as his body and he screamed horribly. Jane and John witnessed the last bubble burst. Sam’s heart and remaining internal organs exploded throughout the room.

The spray covered the brazier. The fire expired. So did the occupants of the blood-bedewed room. Each died in a despairing posture. Once Uncle Sam died they ceded their life to the Red Death that held illimitable dominion over all.


The Faithful

My beaming pride bathes the congregation. I finished delivering the award for altar boy of the year at the eleven AM mass. I was rewarding the faithful with a vision of how a good Catholic man should act. This act was the last part of this week’s rite before the closing procession.

Judy and I had attended the eight AM service and she went home to water the yard. I stayed behind to experience the joy of my delivery.

I sang Go Forth and Serve walking at the lead of the procession. I sang loudly until the dagger in my left shoulder appeared.

The invisible dagger shows in my eyes. My voice falters. I look around but no one seems to notice even when the second invisible dagger pierces my right shoulder.

The ability to sing ceases for my tongue and throat feel swollen. The perspiration beads out of my skin as I continue forward straight through the vestibule to my Lincoln.

I enter the beautiful car that my engineering career earned and I start the engine. My fear has my heart racing. I want to get home because home is where safety is. I engage the car and drive onto Loretto road.

I realize I won’t survive the drive home. My engineering mind knows through my pain that my arterial bridges are collapsing. I know I will crash the vehicle and die in my car.

My vision becomes visionary. Instead of the road I see Judy watering our roses and answering her cell phone to a call telling her that her husband has died. I see the hose drop out of her hands and her body freezes like one who has gazed at Medusa for she knows that we will never see another wedding anniversary. She knows that all our retirement plans are now nothing.

I reach to touch her but the statue Judy is explodes apart into rubble by a blast of light. The blast of light comes from my second vision which is that of the Lord Jesus Christ descending from the heavens. The light emanates from the heart of my Lord. My Lord gives me the strength to do that which my pride cannot.

I turn the car around speeding onto the way to San Jose. The paramedics at the fire station can help me. I follow the light down the road to the red house of hell.

My magnificent Sunday best drips onto the sidewalk as I follow the vision of my Savior to the door. The door opens and the voice asks me How did you get here? Who drove me here?

I speak that I drove myself to hell while a shot of adrenaline is administered. Voices tell me this is impossible as a second shot of adrenaline enters my blood stream.

I see the third shot prepared. I tell them that the Lord brought me here for deliverance. The pain subsides as the third shot enters my body.


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